New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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