I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
