shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
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