this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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