All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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