I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
porn star boner night. come get it.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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