they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
