Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I stole a fireplace last night.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
