I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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