If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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