take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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