blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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