i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize
