the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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