fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
