My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
