So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
