Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
