I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
