Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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