When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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