I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
It's just like the Real World with babies
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
