i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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