His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
