Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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