32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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