just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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