One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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