Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
