The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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