I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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