a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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