Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
