Just fell off a train. Bad.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
