it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
