I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
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