I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
that is very illegal...i love you.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
