I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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