I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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