what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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