"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Duck Duck Cougar?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
