i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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