I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
