Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
where am i from again
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
