What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
