that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I fill condoms, not promises.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
