I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Still dying that you shit outside
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
