on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
