Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
