Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
