You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
