He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
